I’ve learned some very important lessons from Donald Trump. Everyone else should learn them too, and thank him for teaching us. Everything will be great if you all learn what I’ve learned as described below:
1) I’ve learned that when I’m alone with any one person, I can pretty much do or say whatever I want so long as I don’t leave marks;
2) I’ve learned to pretty much do whatever I want regardless of legality because I can always say that I didn’t know something and it wasn’t intentional. Who’s going to be able to prove my state of mind? Besides, unlike Trump, I’m pretty small fry so what is anyone going to do?
3) I’ve learned that I can pretty much NOT pay any debts that I incur, and I can blackmail my debtors into taking cents on the dollar by threatening bankruptcy (or declaring bankruptcy as much as I possibly can). They can’t get blood out of a stone (as Trump’s creditors have painfully learned); whatever blood I’ve got no one will know about;
4) I’ve learned that I can pretty much say whatever I want about anything to anyone, and it won’t matter so long as I say the next day that I didn’t say it;
5) I’ve learned that I can treat the veterans who try to sell hot dogs in front of my apartment building like crap, I can insist that they sell their hot dogs elsewhere because their disgusting hot dogs — that I obviously eat a lot of — will compromise the value of my building and its surroundings, and then I can insist that I also “love” the veterans and I can pretend to give them millions of dollars (whether or not I actually give them those dollars);
6) I’ve learned that I can attack the judiciary for being “unfair” to me, and insist that they don’t care about the American people and they’re ALL not doing their jobs since they don’t agree with ME — despite the fact that they actually appear to know the Constitution (and I don’t know jackshit about the Constitution); and
7) I’ve learned to surround myself with the most cynical and despicable “yes” men and women who will defend to the death my right to do all of the above, men and women who do so to further their own agendas regardless of the impact on the American people.
I encourage you all to add the lessons you’ve learned from Trump as I’m sure we’ve all learned much, much, much more than this!